Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

God, I’m really annoying when I’m drunk and around Julian.

I’d like to think that’s changed in the years that have past since this video was shot.

But, maybe it hasn’t.

Filed under: Aside, Colorado, In Brief, Video, Beer Chess, Drinking, Julian | 3 Comments

Last night I attended the premiere of the 3D video for Bjork’s Wanderlust, her next single of Volta.

I spent most of my time looking to get drunk in one way or another.

First, it was to get drunk to avoid the awkward moments that occur when a couple hundred uber-hipster film types get together to glad-hand and look at fancy and expensive music video props in an old boat house. That may seem specific, but there seem to be a number of events that have this crowd performing this specific activity.

I think there’s even a Gondry exhibit in some museum that is this same crowd probably every day.

A little while later, I got drunk to people watch and creepily stock this girl that looked enough like Scarlett Johansson for me to be momentarily obsessed with her.

Then, I drank because I kept ending up in the conversation circle directly next to Bjork’s conversation circle. Hers was filled with people who knew Bjork, and mine was filled with people I knew and people I met because they wanted to get closer to Bjork.

There were a couple of times I almost spilled on the little Scandinavian pixie, which got me fearing for my life. I’ve seen the video of her attacking that reporter.

I then began to drink so I would be drunk enough to talk to Bjork.

I saw my first chance when I saw her get off her cell phone. I was 4-5 drinks into the night, so I touched her shoulder, said excuse me, told her the video was amazing and gave her a little hug.

She looked at me like I was fucking crazy. And to be fair, it was pretty crazy of me. But to get a crazy look from someone you consider pretty crazy to begin with just made me think of this:

I thought that would be my Bjork time, but she actually came and joined the conversation circle I was in a few minutes later. I was standing with the brilliant folks from UVPH, the post-production house that did the 3D. I’ve started to spend more quality time with these guys as I find myself “networking” with hipsters and indie-film types (when did this become such a frequent occurrence?), but I still feel bad for taking advantage of their generosity by pretending to be one of them and participating in my second Bjork conversation, this time complete with a toast.Bjork had been carrying around her iPod all night and told us she planned to come to the after party and “battle” with her iPod.

I took off to the after party with some UVPH people. The party involved free vodka cocktails at a bar called Legion a full 3 blocks north of Ryan Max’s apartment.

I called Ryan to tell him about the free booze and tried explaining that Bjork said she’d be there.

I was drunk and probably sounded crazy: Like, of course I actually talked to Bjork. Yeah, I’m just calling you out of nowhere. Seriously, free vodka, etc.

After the vodka started pouring down my gullet, Ryan Max, Cat, Ryan Max’s female roommate and Thomas showed up to partake in free vodka and Bjork watching.

Bjork arrived a little bit later and I made my third drunken conversation with her when I, once again, touched her on the shoulder. This time I told her to take over the fucking DJ booth because whatever DJ had been hired for the party was sucking.

She looked at me like I was crazy again, but this time I was convincing enough to attract some Bjork sycophants who asked me how I knew Bjork and believed what I vaguely remember to be some sort of complex lie.

A bit later I was dancing and had to stop Ryan Max’s female roommate from dancing up on a very frightened looking Bjork who was just trying to dance by herself in this crappy little club in Bushwick of all goddamn places.

I woke up this morning with a hangover, a pocket full of business cards, some numbers in my cell phone under androgynous names, faint memories of being hit on and hazy memories of making a fool out of myself in front of Bjork.

Ryan Max said he enjoyed himself and the video was awesome, so all and all, I think Wednesday went well.

Filed under: Anecdote, Culture, Good Stories, New York, The Web, Video, Bjork, Bushwick, Drinking, Hipsters, Networking, Sycophants, Wanderlust | Post a comment

I honestly don’t remember why I made that face or what I thought it was going to accomplish. Sorry for ruining the “family” photo.