It’s CHOWDER WEEK!

Dave here. And with Ryan’s general malaise surrounding everything Dos Factotum (have you checked out This Is Grim yet?), that means I can’t blame him for forgetting to post the comic last Wednesday. Or last Saturday.

I was puking a lot last Saturday because of a nettie pot, so I’m hesitant to blame myself.

Then, Sunday, I was feeling okay and managed to make it to brunch with Ryan Grim, amongst others. I told him I had forgotten to post the comics and he told me I had forgotten the two strips he had written at his house (oh the difficulties of not sharing a living space with your writer!).

I said I’d probably just bump the comics back a week so he could have more time to procrastinate in writing the last 3 of this season (let’s not think about what it will take to get him to write the 10th season and finish this bitch off).

Then, today, I thought: Wait! Eff-no!

I’ve been waiting long enough to get to the end of Dos Factotum, why should I make everyone else wait as well.

So this week will be Chowder Week. There’s a subplot about Chowder before we get to the titular Chicken of this season, and it’s going to fit in this week, completely.

Today - Episode 3
Tomorrow - Episode 4
Then, back to basics with Wednesday - Ep 5 and Saturday Ep 6.

It’s the penultimate season of Dos Factotum!

Click the “Subscribe” link to hook up e-mail alerts, RSS feeds and Twitter following. The hiatus is over.

27 to go.

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Dave here.

This probably give you a good idea of how long I’ve been poking at Ryan Grim, telling him to write more cigarette/condom antics. After a short e-mail debate, it was decided that this was still funny, because it still happened, just - like - months ago. Before The Health Care Reform debate or anything like that.

But it’s the core truth that I don’t need women judging me and Thrash likes to watch history happen…

…wait. No, that goes the other way around.

Because if I remember the day of Balloon Boy (Falcon!) correctly, and I do, I was the one watching all three networks while monitoring Twitter, thinking I might see the body of a young boy tumble out of an amateur aircraft. When that didn’t happen, I decided to smoke some pot and take a nap.

So, yeah. I’m not sure where that story was going.

It’s the penultimate season of Dos Factotum!

Click the “Subscribe” link to hook up e-mail alerts, RSS feeds and Twitter following. The hiatus is over.

28 to go.

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Dave here.

Recently, I’ve been drinking less hard liquor. It’s not because I like getting drunk any less or because I can’t take the burn of the cheap-yet-boozy drinks I can afford. I simply got tired of being hungover a lot.

Not only do I take hangovers worse than most, but I seemed to miss that transitionary period between being young enough to feel no pain and being old enough that I wake up in pain. Hangovers weren’t helping the generic pain my body heaps upon me in the form of knotted muscles and sore joints. The family masseuse (based out of CO) says it’s because I commute with my laptop on my back while living in a “dangerous” neighborhood that keeps me “alert” and “storing my stress.”

Things were a lot easier when I could puke and rally. I used to do it a lot, which is how i earned one of my many nicknames: “Pukes.” From bulimia-mocking gags so I could empty my stomach and fill it with more booze to simply puking after losing a drinking game, I did it all.

And somehow still managed to hook up with a few ladies, which is something you don’t think a dude called “Pukes” would really do.

Anyway. Ryan isn’t drying out as severely as I am, but he’s also reduced his cheap-and-hard boozahol intake. Because to quote Danny Glover, I’m getting to old for this shit.

Don’t feel bad for me though, I have other vices I indulge in. Some legal, some not; all fun. So don’t think I’m going soft on you.

Welcome to the penultimate season of Dos Factotum!

Click the “Subscribe” link to hook up e-mail alerts, RSS feeds and Twitter following. The hiatus is over.

29 to go.

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We’re back!

In the sense that we’re announcing we’re back, we’re back. We’ve actually been back for awhile, prepping the final sprint of Dos Factotum. When Ryan drew a condom and a cigarette back in 2004 and said he wanted to make a comic, we got really into it because we were college students who fancied ourselves educated men. We had something to say and the free time to say it in.

Then came a period of inactivity on the comics front. It’s been almost 9 months since we’ve posted a comic. But they are coming soon and I’m assured - faster. 2010 is as good a year as any to finally end Dos Factotum by getting through the 10th season. 150 comics.

Starting Wednesday March 3rd and running every Wednesday and Saturday through April 21st, Ryan and I humbly submit Dos Factotum’s penultimate season.

-Dave-

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Happy 2010, Condom and Cigarette fans.

If there are any left, since we haven’t posted a new comic since May 2009.

I blame that on the man who has just notified me on the post below that he thinks he’s consistently entertaining enough to have his own webspace and newly self-reliant enough to purchase and set up that webspace by himself.

The comic above was the first strip cut from Season 9, because - yes - some of it exists.

As for how much more of it is going to exist….well, have you seen ThisIsGrim.com?

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‘THIS IS GRIM’ IS MY NEW HANG OUT. Please stop by.

Later,

Ryan

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INT. HOTEL BAR. MORNING SUN FILLS THE ROOM.

Two middle-aged men, GARY 1 and GARY 2, sit on bar stools. Their unfortunate clothes and blank faces indicate that they are not busy or vital men. Standing behind the bar is a BARTENDER (early 20s) eating scrambled eggs and toast.

BARTENDER

Alright. I’m on the clock. What will it be?

GARY 1

Gin and tonic. No fruit.

GARY 2

Same here.

BARTENDER

Is well gin OK? Or are you celebrating?

GARY 1

Well’s fine.

GARY 2 nods. He is also fine with well gin. Truth is, he probably couldn’t tell the difference between well and the good stuff. Not since last November, anyway.

In the background an ENERGETIC AND WELL-GROOMED WHITE FAMILY OF FOUR sits down at a table.

BARTENDER SCOOPS ice into two GLASSES and POURS a generous serving of GORDON’s GIN into each glass. He tops them off with a small amount of tonic. He slices a lime into wedges and slips them on the rims of the glasses. As BARTENDER hands the men their drinks he realizes his mistake.

BARTENDER

Oh, you said no lime. Typical. I mess up the first drinks of the day. Here, I’ll take them off for you. [He reaches for the drinks.]

GARY 1

Don’t worry about it.

GARY 2

Yeah, don’t worry about it.

BARTENDER

You sure?

GARY 1

Yes.

GARY 2

Yes.

GARY 1 and GARY 2 start drinking. They do not raise their glasses in a toast.

VOICE OVER

Gordon’s. Leave well enough alone.

[Hey Agency Republic. I see Gordon's is one of your clients. If you're not hiring me to consult, what are you doing?]

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[Thanks.]

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The rock band Handsome Furs performed last night at a party celebrating the new partnership between VBS.tv and CNN.com. Before they took the stage at Public Assembly, MC Eugene Mirman mumbled some jokes which were barely audible above the folks enjoying the open bar; Kenneth “KC” Estenson of CNN.com said a few remarks about the importance of first-person storytelling; and Shane Smith of Vice/VBS said something about taking over the world with CNN. He added that while some men have large heads and small bodies, he’s got a small head and a large body.

Once the band started their set it was hard to look away from keyboardist/drum machinist Alexei Perry. Her mouth would puff and chomp, often with the beat. She resembled an animal actor with peanut butter on its gums to make it look like it’s talking, but in a sexy way. While breathing heavily and chomping, she would sometimes stare fiercely and admiringly at her bandmate and husband, Dan Boeckner. His trick: wrapping the microphone cord around his neck while singing. At one point during the set they faced each other and got very close as if they were going to kiss or nuzzle, and a girl in front of me let out an “Awww.”

Alexei Perry’s throat was even more interesting to watch. Because she’s breathing so deeply and rhythmically, and she doesn’t have much neck fat, a very pronounced oval would appear with each deep inhale, and then disappear with each exhale. Well, perhaps it’s not really an oval. It’s more like the shape we make with the skin between our thumb and index finger when we try to reproduce the shape of a vagina by touching our hands together. An elongated oval with points. So if you wanted to be lewd you could say that, while performing, Alexei Perry’s throat looks like a pulsating vagina.

Ms. Perry would often balance herself on one leg, raise the other leg behind her and kick it to the beat. When she bangs her head, her copper hair (it’s currently copper, anyway) is fun to watch, too. With the leg, the hair, the mouth and the throat, she’s the most animated keyboardist/drum machinist I’ve ever seen. And if you’re only casually playing the instrument to begin with, you have no excuse not to go berserk.

[Thanks for the picture.]

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