Warning: mysql_query() [function.mysql-query]: Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/var/lib/mysql/mysql.sock' (2) in /home/content/27/9147927/html/dosfactotum/wp-content/plugins/subscribe2/subscribe2.php on line 2363

Warning: mysql_query() [function.mysql-query]: A link to the server could not be established in /home/content/27/9147927/html/dosfactotum/wp-content/plugins/subscribe2/subscribe2.php on line 2363
Dos Factotum » Archive » Empty That Big Cup You Got There

Empty That Big Cup You Got There

January 7th, 2010

I work on the Internet so I come across a lot of bad vibes and angry folk. People (we call them users) love to get mad about what other people write online. They call each other cocks and cunts and asses, and probably some other words I haven’t even seen yet. Want to be sad? Read comment sections all day. Comment section? More like: Yell “fuck” at strangers section. It’s nasty out there, and it’s a damn shame too, because truth is, if most of these angry folks were to meet each other in real life, they’d likely get along. Or at least they’d be civil to each other and refrain from using words like cock-ass and beeotch and what not, and have a nice time discussing common ground, like gas prices or cell phone service providers, which are both the new weather.

Me? I try not to get too upset on the Internet. I read a lot of ridiculous stuff but I keep my mouth shut (or my cursor out of the comments section). Don’t get too hung up, I say. Stress. It’s a killer. Are you about to e-berate somebody? Consider this: Why bother? Write it out in a Word doc. and sleep on it. Read it the next day and you’ll see what I mean. Chances are, you’ll forget what you were so upset about in the first place. And you might just learn something about yourself in the process.

Hear that sound? The sound of liquid hitting the floor? That’s me emptying my cup. I think that’s a phrase Buddhists use. Empty your cup. It means this: let it out. All the old hang-ups and horseshit and sludge that makes us angry and jaded. Empty it. Not going online for a long time would help. And I would do just that, but then I wouldn’t get my money. Which I need to buy food to eat and alcohol to drink.

Now, I’m no Buddhist. And I’m no saint. I’m no better than anybody else. Pobody’s nerfect.

Two credos I’d like to hear more often: Empty your cup. Pobody’s nerfect.

Related: I recently ate some roasted kale and it may have made me kind of crunchy.

How to stop being crunchy: Go to the Levee. Drink five Sportsmen (each Sportsman is a can of Carling Black Label and a shot of Evan Williams). Take off your shirt. Eat an entire bowl of cheese puffs as quickly as possible. And then a hot dog. When a girl next to you at the bar says something like, “Woah, save some for the rest of us, Bluto,” slap her forehead with a cheese puff, pour her drink on your head and say, “I’m not here to save. I’m here to destroy!” And oh my God I just got an IM saying that Artie Lange stabbed himself so I’m gonna read some comments about him and his fat self-stabbing cock-ass.

Leave a Reply