Smoking and the Hiccups
October 13th, 2009Quitting smoking is like having the hiccups. All sorts of people will share their tips/remedies, even if you don’t ask for them. Chew on straws, they’ll say. Get the patch, get that gum, chug and gargle water, hold your breath. Everyone thinks their solution is the best. Well, I’ve got news for them: The only real cure for the hiccups is a half-domestic, half-Turkish blend Camel Light, smoked as quickly as possible. And the only real way to stop smoking is to get a nasty case of the hiccups. The hiccups have to be so bad that your diaphragm pops loose and your lungs turn inside out, shedding all that sweet sweet tar that’s been building up for six years, ever since you smoked that first one behind the Centerville High School gym with Jeff and Adam before the basketball game. The Elks lost 60-64, but damn it was close right up until the end. (TOTES JK, I don’t remember that much about high school. But for real, kids, take it from me—never start getting the hiccups.)
