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Dos Factotum » Archive » Episode 712: I’m Gonna Drink You So Much
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February 7th, 2009

Episode 712: I’m Gonna Drink You So Much

Someone once told us that the song about the girl who uses her milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard is really about hand jobs, not milkshakes.

We’ve also heard that the girl singing about how she wants to shelter her man with an umbrella is really singing about spreading her genital lips for him.

And we have reason to believe that the gentleman going on and on about his lollipop and how he’d like it to be licked is actually referring to—surprise, surprise—his genitals.

Compare these to Billy Joel’s “Allentown,” a sympathetic portrait of a dying steel town. It’s short on lewd metaphors but generous with insightful commentary on the distinctly American will to survive during unfavorable circumstances. “We’re living here in Allentown,” Billy sings, plainly, resolutely.

Whereas pop singers today aim for your genitals, Billy aimed for the gut. If his poetry happened to graze your tip or clitoral hood on the way to your gut, that was cool too, but it was always unintentional.

Though his flesh-and-blood body may have expired yesterday, his humble genius will forever touch anyone with access to a radio.

Billy Joel (May 9, 1949 – February 6, 2009)

2 Responses to “Episode 712: I’m Gonna Drink You So Much”

  1. Terry Moran Says:

    Did Billy Joel die?

  2. Chris P Says:

    yeah i think so. sucks.

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