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Dos Factotum » Archive » Episode 413: We Have Seen the Wily Welsh-Samoan
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August 9th, 2008

Episode 413: We Have Seen the Wily Welsh-Samoan

Perhaps the best thing about the Olympics’ opening ceremony is that it reminds you of all the countries you’d forgotten about since the last Olympics. Like Turkmenistan, and Austria.

One nation whose presence in the nation parade thoroughly befuddled me was American Samoa, as I’d always thought the tropical truck stop was one of those American moons, like Puerto Rico and the Marshall Islands and my darling Guam. (The only Guamians I’ve ever talked to were fat and perpetually jolly, so I can only assume the entire island is populated by similar folk. I was in Ogden, Utah, at the time, a strange place for any young man with an empty suitcase and a dream. It was a cold spring, colder than the foolhardy Guamians had expected, so they perished, one by one, in my arms, under that good Utah moon.)

So when I saw American Samoan golfers and archers and weightlifters in the nation parade, I was like, “What the frick?” Using the Internet, I looked it up, and, lo and behold, they are a territory of the U.S. But isn’t that like Nebraska fielding its own team?

I looked for more answers here and here, but my thirst for knowledge about the history of Am-Sam’s Olympic sovereignty was ultimately left unquenched. (Dear future wife and kids, please inscribe the above line into my tombstone, hyperlinks and all.)

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