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Dos Factotum » Archive » My Audition for Kimmel’s Writers’ Room

My Audition for Kimmel’s Writers’ Room

July 15th, 2008

At the tale end of a NY Times piece about how late-night comedy writers are having a hard time ripping into Obama, Jimmy Kimmel is quoted as saying, “His ears should be the focus of the jokes.”

So, in an effort to be considered to join Mr. Kimmel’s staff, I’ve put together a little packet, as it’s called, that addresses my future boss’ sensibilities.

Joke #1: Democratic hopeful Barack “Big Ears” Obama said yesterday that if he had been president during Hurricane Katrina, he would have made a better effort to help victims than President Bush. Indeed, he could have sheltered them with his large, canopy-like ears.

Joke #2: Michelle Obama told Elle magazine that her husband, Democratic hopeful Barack “Big Ears” Obama, snores on occasion. She added: “His ears are bigger than average.”

Joke #3: Senator John McCain has called Democratic hopeful Barack “Big Ears” Obama’s healthcare plan unfeasible and un-American. What McCain forgot to mention is that Obama has large ears.

Joke #4: Republican strategist Karl Rove has attacked Democratic hopeful Barack “Big Ears” Obama’s plan to leave Iraq, calling it “foolish” and “a recipe for global disaster.” Obama’s camp has yet to respond, as they have been preoccupied with cleaning the Chicago Senator’s ears, a task that takes ten people two weeks to complete on account of his large ears.

Joke #5: Democratic hopeful Barack “Big Ears” Obama said in a speech to the Urban League of Detroit that unlike Presidents Bush and Clinton, he would not “play it by ear” when it comes to the improvement of blighted neighborhoods. This prompted the Comedy Writers Union of Detroit to write a letter to Senator Obama, thanking him for making their job easier.

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