Warning: mysql_query() [function.mysql-query]: Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/var/lib/mysql/mysql.sock' (2) in /home/content/27/9147927/html/dosfactotum/wp-content/plugins/subscribe2/subscribe2.php on line 2363

Warning: mysql_query() [function.mysql-query]: A link to the server could not be established in /home/content/27/9147927/html/dosfactotum/wp-content/plugins/subscribe2/subscribe2.php on line 2363
Dos Factotum » Archive » Ryan, I Slept With Your Girlfriend

Ryan, I Slept With Your Girlfriend

April 30th, 2008


I know you are posting the new comic right now, Ryan, and it’s a really funny one.

What I have to tell you is less funny: Your girlfriend and I have fornicated.

Too many times, you’d go in search of various types of food rather than living up to your boyfriendly responsibilities.

And I have a lot of things going for me. I’m skinny (Even certain movie zombies look more “put-together” than I do). Women love skinny men. I’m hispanic, women seem to love that too. I’m sure there are other qualities I’m missing (do bloggers historically get more tail?).

I decided to let you know now that you’ve filed a libel suit against me.

How’s this for libel, buddy: I boinked your girlfriend!

I also managed not to cry while orgasming this time, which – if you remember – is a big step for me.

Don’t think of it as a betrayal, think of it as a malicious act one friend commits for another friend to show how much they really care. Or, alternatively, think of it as the last ditch effort of a desperate writer/cartoonist who was pushed too hard by the powers that be. Or, it could just be that I thought your girlfriend was hot in all those expensive clothes I’ve been buying her with my gossip blogging fortune.

That’s right, you hadn’t even noticed all the new clothes I bought her, did you?

Man, she is so right about you and your attention span.


One Response to “Ryan, I Slept With Your Girlfriend”

  1. Dos Factotum » Archive » Dave Saves The Day He Probably Ruined In The First Place (Or: What We Learned On Dave’s Vacation) Says:

    […] And now who’s on vay-cay? Ryan is. With his girlfriend, whom I’ve slept with. […]

Leave a Reply