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Dos Factotum » Archive » Episode 212: Nutella
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April 23rd, 2008

Episode 212: Nutella

Ryan Grim’s lawyer, Maurice Levy, has issued a formal response to Episode 211. Please see below.

My client, whom from here on out will be identified as CLIENT, was severely libeled in the Web log post “Episode 211: Rorschach Test,” which erroneously described the events of Friday, April 19, 2008. Before a suit is filed against Dos Factotum, Read it or Don’t, Ltd. and their parent company, Viacom, I would like offer this brief correction.

CLIENT had been drinking gin throughout the evening of April 19 and, as often happens to CLIENT, he became quite hungry and gin-crazy around 1:00 or 1:30 a.m. (CLIENT cannot recall the exact deets.) CLIENT went searching for food and, after walking around Canal St. and East Broadway for a while, he found a place that agreed to sell him beef lo mein. He returned to the bench outside the bar and began eating his beef lo mein. It was delicious, he told me.

So delicious that the last thing he wanted to do was stand up and walk somewhere. Thus, when his ladyfriend, whom from here on out will be identified as GF, asked him to help escort her sister four blocks to the bar, he became surly. Sitting on that bench felt so right. The greasy noodles were soaking up much of the gin; for once, all was OK with the world. He argued with GF, claiming that no one except a baby or a grandma would need an escort for such a short walk. He pouted. He shoveled more lo mein into his maw. Then he conceded. Being a good man with a big heart, CLIENT eventually got off the bench and went to go meet GF’s sister, slurping up his tiny feast the whole way.

CLIENT has since stated that his actions on the night of April 19, 2008, especially those that occurred during the hours of 2:30 to 4:00 a.m., were far from appropriate. He has apologized to certain affected people. Here, in this brief, he would like to formally say “Sorry, pal” to the homeless gentleman he and GF berated on Ave. A near Third St. around 3:45 a.m. They didn’t mean to be so rude.

3 Responses to “Episode 212: Nutella”

  1. Dos Factotum » Archive » Ryan, I Slept With Your Girlfriend Says:

    […] qualities I’m missing (do bloggers historically get more tail?).I decided to let you know now that you’ve filed a libel suit against me.How’s this for libel, buddy: I boinked your girlfriend!I also managed not to cry while […]

  2. Dos Factotum » Archive » Episode 214: The Mountain Mage Says:

    […] decided to let you know now that you’ve filed a libel suit against me. How’s this for libel, buddy: I boinked your girlfriend! I also managed not to cry while […]

  3. Dos Factotum » Archive » My Three Poops Says:

    […] Want more words? This isn’t the first time late night lo mein got me in trouble. […]

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