Dave’s Specific Hippie Girlfriend

In which former porn reviewer and Say Anything fan Dave Gonzales posts Craigslist personal ads for a very specific girlfriend.

WANTED: Hippie Girlfriend

I am, by far, not a hippie.

I was born in the 80s, was raised middle class white in the 90s and went to art college in the 00s. Though I foolishly toyed with socialism, [...]

Sint Maarten/Saint Martin Facts

In the interest of piggy-backing off my article “Automobile Facts,” I’ve written up some (true!) Sint Maarten/Saint Martin facts.

Fact 1. Some residents of the small tropical island speak Papiamento, an amalgamation of Dutch, Portuguese and Spanish that sounds exactly like what you’d hope a tropical island’s language would sound like. The ATMs there ask if [...]

Live Blogging TBS’s Midnight Showing of Black Sheep

Raw, real-time reporting from the couch bureau, edited during ad breaks.

12:11: Starting late, I come in at the scene in which Robbie, the Middle Eastern cop, shows Mike Donnelly (Chris Farley) his cruiser’s nitrous tanks.

12:12: Mike’s thumbs get stuck in the hood of his car.

12:13: Mike puts an elderly couple’s groceries in their car, gets [...]