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Dos Factotum » Archive » The Civil War Special
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February 20th, 2008

The Civil War Special

If you know John X. Lichman, chances are you’ve called him a number of things, such as bastard, uninvited, in the way, loud, Bear Grylls, wholly inappropriate, drunkard or any combination thereof. But he’s also a dreamer. Well, at least he was years ago, before being weathered by the workaday world and its $5.99-a-pound Chinese buffet lunches; the unforgiving glares of Joshua Tree happy hour hussies; and the “yes, sir”s, “right away, sir”s.

One of young Johnny’s dreams was to bring unscripted infotainment about the Civil War to NYU-TV. He splurged on a Confederate uniform (or was it Union? or neither?), signed up for studio space, and voilá: A Civil Debate was born. (Full disclosure: Ryan Grim played a version of himself in the first and only episode.)

But like so many babies, A Civil Debate came into this world mangled and messy, and was never given a chance to blossom. Blame NYU, if you want. Or blame that producer who allegedly ran away with the footage before it could be edited. Or blame Time, that vindictive whore who rules us all. Just don’t blame John X. Lichman. Wait: do blame John X. Lichman—he hired the producer and most likely traded the footage for a bum’s airplane-sized bottle of Boodles.

Just don’t blame us.

Here’s the only finished artistic product that came out of this disaster: a Civil War-themed ‘totum strip Lichman commissioned for the show’s DVD extras, or website, or something.

One Response to “The Civil War Special”

  1. jlichman Says:

    i am not changing my name to xavier no matter how many times you try to get me to.
    it’s xanas.

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